Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
