I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
