I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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