Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
