Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
