You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
