im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
