No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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