The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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