I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
