strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
