I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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