You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dear god my vagina.
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