did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
