I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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