Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
