Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize