I met the friendliest cop last night
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
