If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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