Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
