I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
