So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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