the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there's paper in my vomit.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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