either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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