i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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