We're facebook friends in real life
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
