another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
