You really coming over, don't trick.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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