Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
