Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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