May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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