That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
