Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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