My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
