my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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