im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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