ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
