My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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