Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
