Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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