I just threw up on my dentist
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She bit a glass in half.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize