no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
