yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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