every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
