But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
