At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
