is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What a dumb baby whore.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
