Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
