Do you still have your period?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
