perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
