There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
nutella sex= disaster
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
