I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
