do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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