I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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