the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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