she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
