Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
