New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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