whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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