the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
