Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
