the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
