Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
