well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
